Unfortunately, dating sites and apps can allow men and women to have secret interactions and flirtations and in some cases, entire relationships, without the risk of their husbands or girlfriends catching them in the act. Fortunately, these sites aren't as safe and anonymous as would be adulterers and cheaters would like to believe.
If you suspect your signifigant other might be using a dating site or app, there are a few ways to confirm your suspicions, including through starting your own infidelity investigation. You'll need to check their phone for common dating apps, conduct a Google search using personal details like their email address, and, if necesary, create test accounts on popular apps and sites to see if your signifigant other is returned as a potential match. If all else fails, you can engage professional investigators to find out for certain whether your signifigant other is using a dating site.
Here's how to go about your search:
1. Check their browsing history (and if possible, their phone)
The first step is to be aware of common dating sites and apps (many of which are intended to look inconspicuous) so that if you stumble upon them on your spouse’s phone or web browser history, you’ll recognize them. Popular affair websites include MarriedCafe.com, NoStringsAttached.com, FriendFinder.com, and XPress.com, but dating sites like Match.com, eHarmony, and OkCupid.com are popular, as well. Additionally, affair phone apps like Vaulty Stocks and HAA are common. Dating apps like Tinder, Once, Coffee Meets Bagel, and HowAboutWe have grown in popularity because they match users with people in nearby locations, and they tend to remove identifying information, like someone's last name.
If you see an app name you don’t recognize, Google it to see if it’s intended as a dating or cheating app. For dating sites, it can be a little more complicated. You can always scan through emails to see if any raise a red flag (for example, Match.com), as these websites typically send a welcome email and occasional updates.
Remember, there are clear legal restrictions on what you can and can't do when it comes to accessing or tracking someone's phone. Make sure you're aware of them before you do anything that might get you into trouble with the law.
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2. Search for their profile images and email address
To find them online, run a search on google for their email address, phone numbers, full name, and profile picture. It's possible one of their profiles could show up in the search results. To search for their profile picture, save their social media profile pictures (and any other likely candidates for dating profile pictures) and drag them one by one into the google images search bar. If your spouse is using one of these photos for an online dating profile, you may see it show up iin the search results.
3. Create test profiles on likely sites
He or she could also be using information you simply wouldn’t know. In that case, one option is to create your own account on one of these sites and then search for your husband or wife’s physical attributes and location to see if you find a matching profile.
Many sites and apps (like Tinder) only allow people to see each other based on location and mutually matching search criteria (like age and sex). To search these sites, you may need to alter your profile to match your sigifigant other's potential search preferences.
You can also scan your credit card statements, as many sites charge an activation fee for new profiles.
4. Try electronic surveillance options
In addition, there are apps that track phone activity.
For example, you could download FlexiSpy on their phone (for a hefty price of $130-$310, depending on the surveillance mode you choose), to track activity - although there are potential risks and issues that might arise depending on your jurisdiction and the potential for being caught in the act.
(Note: Flexispy and others have been caught in a scandal involving hacked user accounts and potentially illegal or unethical surveillance. To find the information you're looking for without inadvertently violating the Computer Fraud and Abuse Act of 1986, you'll need to conduct research online, or consider hiring an investigator.)
5. Consider using professional investigators
Ultimately, if you’re worried that your significant other is on a dating site, there are many options for sleuthing (ranging from a quick scan through emails and browser history to more intensive—and expensive—actions). If nothing else works (or you don't have the time to conduct an exhaustive search that may or may not be conclusive), consider hiring a private invesitgator.
Spoiler alert - we can help you with that! We can quickly and professionally get you answers to any of your questions - just schedule a quick consultation by filling out the form on the right.